Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
