new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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