he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
