And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
