my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
