AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
