Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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