Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
