Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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