We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
