no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
