Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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