he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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