New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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