All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
