There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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