I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
