oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
