Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
