too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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