scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
