Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Come see our sink grown plant.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
