He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
