Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
