found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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