jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
