I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
