is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize