I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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