I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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