I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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