the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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