please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I enjoy the company of your penis
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
