he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Randomize
