Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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