I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
