we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
