we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
