i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
