The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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