Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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