these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
