Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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