Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
