Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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