no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
my being single is dangerous.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
