Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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