Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
