Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
