Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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