your thong is hanging out like whoa
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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