It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize