I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
