I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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