Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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