her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
