I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
