I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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