Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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