Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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